I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
