seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
