You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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