Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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