She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
