Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
