Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
