now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
