you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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