i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
