Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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