You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
