They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
