what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
