You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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