he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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