found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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