Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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