the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
