can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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