I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
