I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
