dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Everything about him screamed your future.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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