You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
