I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
