I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We have so much sex to catch up on
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
