no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
