one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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