I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
