I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
