some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
