So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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