just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
