now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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