my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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