I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
