I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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