Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
