why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
