I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
two words: eviction party
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
