yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am available for nakedness
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
