Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
