I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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