Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
