i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
