It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
