kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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