Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize