That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
