therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
