Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?

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(302): View more from Delaware

some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period

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(504): View more from Louisiana

seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

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(512): View more from Texas

He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.

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(646): View more from New York

I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.

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