she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize