if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize