Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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