highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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