no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
